100 in 1000 |
- Spend a week up a mountain learning to ski
- Visit Karoline's place in Moravia
Hold a conversation in Czech (only)
- Drink 500ml of each of the following beers:
Pilsner
Staroprammen
- Budvar
- Velke Popovice
- U Fleku
Gambrinus
Krusovice
Respond to at least one GOARN request (WHO and MSF are
also acceptable)
Travel across the Atlantic
Return to South America
- Read a book to, or with, an impressionably aged child
- Participate in one NanoWriMo Challenge and come within at least 10,000 words of the goal length
Have my nose pierced
- Have my next tattoo drawn
Purchase the perfect jeans (x 2 pairs)
- Attend a spin class 3 times a week for 8 consecutive weeks
- Bake Viv's cheesecake
Make David's casserole
Make David's Chicken Cashew-nut Stirfry
Invite 4 people who don't know one another too well to dinner
- Ride from Vienna to Venice on a motorbike (pillion acceptable, those less desirable)
- Attend a book group for at least two books
- Go on a choir weekend (learn and perform difficult piece in two/three days)
- Visit Madame Tussaud's (in London)
- Take an architecture appreciation course
Join an all-girl group and sing a solo
Publish in a scientific journal (top two authors)
Cook a duck or other 'waterfowl'.
Locate the Al-Timimi's from Doha Veterinary Practise
Have a pedicure
Maintain a Brazilian (ouch) for three months.
Find a trustworthy Czech hairdresser
- Treat my inner-6-year-old twice a week (at least)
- Do the liver-cleansing diet properly (12 weeks)
- Don't eat out for one month
Find a flat and flatmate
- Purchase one Joseph sweater
- Purchase one of the following pairs of
designer shoes (they MUST also be COMFORTABLE, and be able to be worn with 4
different outfits and 2 types of occasion): Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blahniks,
Christian Louboutin (Ebay or 2nd hand are acceptable)
- Send 5 books to the booksphere and track them.
- Go hanggliding
- Read 10 'classic' books (from 1001 Books to Read before you Die)
Moll Flanders
Everything is illuminated
Madam Bovary
Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintainance
Catch-22
Odysseus
On the Road
- Run (non-stop!) for 5kms outside (preferably in a street race thingy)
- Send Christmas Cards on time
Make a collage/mural out of street lights on my wall
Buy a bed, build it, and sleep soundly in it
Go to Africa
Host an 'event' (classified as and when)
Organise a 30th Birthday Party
Wear a costume
- Sing on stage
- Buy a painting that evokes memories of Prague (cannot involve queues!)
Learn a god-damned card game that stays in my memory (other than fish/snap)
See sunrise. Be sober. Have woken for it. Excludes months Nov-Mar
- Take a walk and flip coins at each intersection
Win something
- Draft a will
- Take a roadtrip
Go to Italy already
- Sea Kayak around Abel Tasman Park (NZ)
Get plants
Take a train to another Eastern European Destination (accession countries are acceptable) alone preferably.
- Get UK to give me a provisional motorcyclists license and simultaneously get a 'card' license.
- Go SCUBA diving again - at least two dives lasting 30mins each.
Go to a dentist. *sigh*
- Do a Czech Wine Trail. And live to tell the tale
- Make an 'outbreak emergency kit'.
- Go to bed prior to 11pm every night (inc weekends) for four consecutive weeks.
- Marvel over lack of tiredness
- Dine at a Gordon Ramsey restaurant (or Nobu)- preferably for free.
Bet on the nags
- Do something for charity (applying and getting a 'red card' will count)
- Walk along the Champs Elysee
- Do 100 sit ups in a row
- Do 50 pressups (arms in tight)
- Make branston pickle (or nearest substitute)
- Cook something 'new' and 'adventurous' at least once a month
Find a mentor
Be a mentor
Learn what mentoring is all about
Meet an online person in real life
Resist the flirt. Once. Just one night. It's okay if people don't immediately succumb to my natural charm. Really it is.
Spend time at a spa (spa towns in the CR don't count)
- Send a care package to someone
Get a Tata Bojs CD
- Take a French/German/Dutch course and SPEAK THE DAMNED LANGUAGE WHEN I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES ME SOUND
LIKE AN IDIOT!
- Order new contact lenses.
Make a list of things I take with me when I pack for different occasions
- Eat lobster. Prepared by someone else.
Back up the blog
Put everything onto an external hard drive
- Find a DDR mat and console and 'dance, I say dance!'�
- Go to the beach and lie on the warm sand. For an hour. (with sunscreen on, natch)
- Take and complete a course in either: Tango, Salsa or Flamenco
- Join the Municipal Library of Prague
- Move to another country
Go to a live concert of a band I actually like
- Pay off debts (student loan excl.)
Send thank you cards for every gift I receive (other than the gift of happiness, blah blah blah).
- Get an agent (literary or theatre)
- Go to a sports bar without cringing, by personal choice
- Ride a rollercoaster
- Hold a snake
Spend a day wandering around a museum (not art gallery!)
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Flaky boys |
Sunday, 5 March 2006 |
I know some of you don’t really believe me when I say that Czech men are flaky. And I'm not meaning 'in a boat floating gently under a waterfall' kind of flaky either...
Here’s my version of events.
Steeerrrrrrriiiiiyccccckkkk One!! Before London Boy: Could you please bring me a delicious Chicken & Avocado sandwich from Pret a Manger since you’re going to London? I’ll meet you at the airport… Girl: I don’t really like being met at the airport (unwanted exhibitionism for which I’m ill prepared after flying…bleee!)…but do you mean this sandwich? Boy: I may have to ask you to marry me if you can do this…. Girl: Don’t be daft. You say any silly words like that – I promise to jam sandwich in your gob to prevent such idiocy.
After London Girl reaches airport. Boy nowhere. Girl: ???? Boy: I’m so sorry, something came up. Please don’t think badly of me. Girl: I won’t. But what’s it like at the top of my ‘flaky friend list’? Boy: I’ll make it up to you. Girl: Mmmm…nice sandwich.
Steeerrrrrrriiiiiyccccckkkk Two!! Sunday Boy: So, when are you off to Azerbaijan again? Girl: possibly Wednesday. Boy: I want to see you before then. Tuesday evening? Girl: Sure. Will txt then.
Tuesday Girl: Am shattered. Can we do dvd/pizza at yours instead of out? Boy: Er, I have somewhere else to be at 10… Girl: You know what, I’m really shattered, and I can’t be bothered ‘squeezing into’ someone else’s busy schedule. I’m not going tomorrow. I’ll see you before I go. You’re another rung down. Boy: Don’t be like that. I’m really sorry. Girl: *silence*
Steeerrrrrrriiiiiyccccckkkk Three (and this is by FAR the best one)!!!!!! Saturday - 1600ish Girl: Can you bring my contact lenses tonight? I’ll swap you for your cartman t-shirt! Boy: Cool. Fama at 10? Girl: Sounds great.
2100ish Boy: [calling not sms] Um, just thought I ought to let you know, I’ll be bringing someone else tonight? Girl: Oh? Boy: I had a date with her this evening, and, well, it wasn’t supposed to end up this way…she was just supposed to be a one-drink date. Girl: But… Boy: But…she’s not. I’m really sorry. But don’t worry, it’s not just going to be the three of us, I’ve got a friend Ivan meeting us too… Girl: Are you trying to pimp me out? Boy: *shocked silence as realises what it sounds like…* Girl: Just bring my stuff. Boy: Don’t be like th----
ARGH!!! Can you believe it???? This from someone I was supposedly ‘seeing’. Not that I expected him not to be seeing other people, but at the SAME TIME?!??!
0300ish Boy: You know, I was thinking this morning how much I’ll miss you. Girl: You have no idea. *frost* (I’d managed to keep up this frostiness for 5 hours to this point, including throwing out nice lines such as, “Oh, I dunno, you seem to be able to throw things away pretty easily” at his mention of him being a hoarder. To which he replied ‘ouch’. HA!) Boy: I mean, it could be at least 6 weeks until I see you again, and that’s only if you come visit me while you’re in Spain. Girl: No. It’ll be much longer actually. Boy: *puzzled look* Why? Girl: Personal choice. Did you really expect me to put up with the sort of bullshit you’ve been feeding me, sweety? All the best with your delightful friend over there (vacant Czech blonde gaze), I’m sure she’s your perfect match. Ciao.
And walked out of the bar. Had I had a full glass of water I MAY have gone the whole hog and thrown it over him. Alas, I didn’t – so I can’t cross that off the list of ‘things to do before I grow up’.
So…there you have it: Czech men. Flaky.
Still. It means that I now have developed the perfect ‘rant to the audience’ for Intunition’s version of ‘Respect’ for which yours truly has the solo (eee gads!). Yep. Nothing like a bit of literary amusement out of my personal shame – right? |
posted by Nomes @ Sunday, March 05, 2006 |
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1 Comments: |
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mutter quietly under breath - its allmaterial for my book, its all material for my book.... Failing that...has he a car? I hear prawn shells under the mudflaps start to smell delicious in a matter of days. No car? I say set up a date with him *purely* for the purpose of the glass of water trick. "Nomi! Lovely to see you again! Glad no hard feelings, huh?" "None!" SPLOSH. "So see you round, then? Byee!"
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mutter quietly under breath - its allmaterial for my book, its all material for my book....
Failing that...has he a car? I hear prawn shells under the mudflaps start to smell delicious in a matter of days. No car? I say set up a date with him *purely* for the purpose of the glass of water trick.
"Nomi! Lovely to see you again! Glad no hard feelings, huh?"
"None!" SPLOSH. "So see you round, then? Byee!"