Do you leave your phone on at night? All night?
I do. It's mainly because I don't want to miss those drunken calls from people I once sat next to in high school, who have found my profile on myspace and spent the better part of an evening underlit by green light while hacking into government databases to find my telephone number. These calls go something along the lines of,
Nomes:
Eurgh…hello?
Caller:
Naomi? Is that you?
Nomes:
Uh-huh…who's this?
[curiousity piqued, voice returns to almost normal]
Caller:
Were you asleep? I'm sorry for waking you, what time is it there?
Nomes:
[Realising that whoever they are, they're not in the same time zone]
it's 2.34 in the morning, why, what time is it there?
[figuring I'll miraculously know who it is when I can place their time zone]
Caller:
Oh, it's about nine-thirty here, and I've got a bunch of friends around, we were just doing some internet searches for people we used to know. It's Tony by the way.
Nomes:
Tony.
[Nonplussed and totall unaided by the time reference, not having, as it ought, a morning or evening stamp!]
Tony.
[Because repetition makes you more plussed.]
Ohhhh Tooohhhny
[just to make them feel good and amputate this line of conversation]
How ARE you?
Tony:
I'm fine thanks. I've got a marvellous husband, three children, I'm a rocket scientist, have published three books – one of which went to the top of the NY Times list and has been bought to turn into a movie, and things are just great. What about yourself?
Nomes:
[Quick appraisal of the situation: flippancy the only possible comeback]
oh, you know me, still saving the world…
The way I figure it, everyone needs an esteem buster at 2.34am, so I just never turn the phone off. |
