| 100 in 1000 |
- Spend a week up a mountain learning to ski
- Visit Karoline's place in Moravia
Hold a conversation in Czech (only)- Drink 500ml of each of the following beers:
PilsnerStaroprammen- Budvar
- Velke Popovice
- U Fleku
GambrinusKrusovice
Respond to at least one GOARN request (WHO and MSF are
also acceptable)Travel across the AtlanticReturn to South America- Read a book to, or with, an impressionably aged child
- Participate in one NanoWriMo Challenge and come within at least 10,000 words of the goal length
Have my nose pierced- Have my next tattoo drawn
Purchase the perfect jeans (x 2 pairs)- Attend a spin class 3 times a week for 8 consecutive weeks
- Bake Viv's cheesecake
Make David's casserole Make David's Chicken Cashew-nut StirfryInvite 4 people who don't know one another too well to dinner- Ride from Vienna to Venice on a motorbike (pillion acceptable, those less desirable)
- Attend a book group for at least two books
- Go on a choir weekend (learn and perform difficult piece in two/three days)
- Visit Madame Tussaud's (in London)
- Take an architecture appreciation course
Join an all-girl group and sing a soloPublish in a scientific journal (top two authors)Cook a duck or other 'waterfowl'. Locate the Al-Timimi's from Doha Veterinary PractiseHave a pedicureMaintain a Brazilian (ouch) for three months.Find a trustworthy Czech hairdresser- Treat my inner-6-year-old twice a week (at least)
- Do the liver-cleansing diet properly (12 weeks)
- Don't eat out for one month
Find a flat and flatmate- Purchase one Joseph sweater
- Purchase one of the following pairs of
designer shoes (they MUST also be COMFORTABLE, and be able to be worn with 4
different outfits and 2 types of occasion): Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blahniks,
Christian Louboutin (Ebay or 2nd hand are acceptable)
- Send 5 books to the booksphere and track them.
- Go hanggliding
- Read 10 'classic' books (from 1001 Books to Read before you Die)
Moll FlandersEverything is illuminatedMadam BovaryZen & the Art of Motorcycle MaintainanceCatch-22OdysseusOn the Road
- Run (non-stop!) for 5kms outside (preferably in a street race thingy)
- Send Christmas Cards on time
Make a collage/mural out of street lights on my wallBuy a bed, build it, and sleep soundly in itGo to AfricaHost an 'event' (classified as and when)Organise a 30th Birthday PartyWear a costume- Sing on stage
- Buy a painting that evokes memories of Prague (cannot involve queues!)
Learn a god-damned card game that stays in my memory (other than fish/snap)See sunrise. Be sober. Have woken for it. Excludes months Nov-Mar- Take a walk and flip coins at each intersection
Win something- Draft a will
- Take a roadtrip
Go to Italy already- Sea Kayak around Abel Tasman Park (NZ)
Get plantsTake a train to another Eastern European Destination (accession countries are acceptable) alone preferably.- Get UK to give me a provisional motorcyclists license and simultaneously get a 'card' license.
- Go SCUBA diving again - at least two dives lasting 30mins each.
Go to a dentist. *sigh*- Do a Czech Wine Trail. And live to tell the tale
- Make an 'outbreak emergency kit'.
- Go to bed prior to 11pm every night (inc weekends) for four consecutive weeks.
- Marvel over lack of tiredness
- Dine at a Gordon Ramsey restaurant (or Nobu)- preferably for free.
Bet on the nags- Do something for charity (applying and getting a 'red card' will count)
- Walk along the Champs Elysee
- Do 100 sit ups in a row
- Do 50 pressups (arms in tight)
- Make branston pickle (or nearest substitute)
- Cook something 'new' and 'adventurous' at least once a month
Find a mentorBe a mentorLearn what mentoring is all aboutMeet an online person in real lifeResist the flirt. Once. Just one night. It's okay if people don't immediately succumb to my natural charm. Really it is.Spend time at a spa (spa towns in the CR don't count)- Send a care package to someone
Get a Tata Bojs CD- Take a French/German/Dutch course and SPEAK THE DAMNED LANGUAGE WHEN I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES ME SOUND
LIKE AN IDIOT!
- Order new contact lenses.
Make a list of things I take with me when I pack for different occasions- Eat lobster. Prepared by someone else.
Back up the blogPut everything onto an external hard drive- Find a DDR mat and console and 'dance, I say dance!'�
- Go to the beach and lie on the warm sand. For an hour. (with sunscreen on, natch)
- Take and complete a course in either: Tango, Salsa or Flamenco
- Join the Municipal Library of Prague
- Move to another country
Go to a live concert of a band I actually like- Pay off debts (student loan excl.)
Send thank you cards for every gift I receive (other than the gift of happiness, blah blah blah).- Get an agent (literary or theatre)
- Go to a sports bar without cringing, by personal choice
- Ride a rollercoaster
- Hold a snake
Spend a day wandering around a museum (not art gallery!) |
|
| Defence to the Raspberry |
| Monday 2 June 2008 |
 Introduction
Circumstances often arise where a pithy response is required to parry a verbal thrust. On occasion, the neural cortex is insufficiently prepared for the ‘search, scan and send’ behaviour required to make a return joust. Behaviour drives us to make both an audio and visual ‘come back’ such that a ‘raspberry’ is blown. This is known as a “lame response”. In certain situations, the person on the receiving end of the raspberry wishes not to be covered in aerosolised saliva. We investigated possible defence mechanisms to the raspberry, and present the most useful – and also present a counter attack.
Methods
Two volunteers used the popular ‘facing’ position on a kitchen chair. Other positions were attempted, but this reasonably close embrace keeps the peoples heads and, ipso facto, mouths, in the same three-dimensional space. The volunteers improvised with a variety of techniques until a suitable defence was identified. Further improvisation led to the development of an appropriate counter attack.
Results
The most effective method of ‘raspberry blocking’ is to immediately jam the tip of the tongue above that of the raspberry blowers, just tucking it under, preferentially, the upper lip, though tucking it above the lower lip also works. The greatest efficacy was measured when carried out as a ‘surprise’ as the raspberry blower tended to respond with googly eyes and an open mouth – thus blocking the path to the counter attack.
Said counter attack is for the raspberry blower to progress with the raspberry, regardless of the additional tongue between their lips. This has the effect of generally covering the muzzle of the raspberry blockers face with a mixture of their saliva – a suitable deterrent from blocking.
Discussion
We believe that this piece of independent and unfunded research adds greatly to the arsenal already available for “the battle of the sexes”, especially in circumstances where two people are very well matched in terms of intelligence, sense of humour and sense of the ridiculous.
We noted that the technique, the “raspberry block” could be dangerous if carried out at high speeds, from considerably different 3D space, such that the raspberry blocker could knock out the raspberry blower, unintentionally giving them a “Glasgow kiss”.
Conclusion
Should this technique be widely used across the world, between couples sparring about ridiculous things, we believe it will lend to greater harmony and peace throughout. If not, then a lot of snorting and guffawing – which can’t be a bad thing.
Acknowledgements
The authors take no responsibility for any injury (physical or otherwise) obtained in replicating this experiment under different circumstances. They would like to thank their two eager volunteers for their tireless enthusiasm in making fools of themselves and each other.Labels: Observations on Life |
posted by Nomes @ Monday, June 02, 2008   |
|
|
|
|
|
