The Adventure Continues...

Rants, raves and random observations from an itinerant epidemiologist.

100 in 1000
  1. Spend a week up a mountain learning to ski
  2. Visit Karoline's place in Moravia
  3. Hold a conversation in Czech (only)
  4. Drink 500ml of each of the following beers:
    1. Pilsner
    2. Staroprammen
    3. Budvar
    4. Velke Popovice
    5. U Fleku
    6. Gambrinus
    7. Krusovice
  5. Respond to at least one GOARN request (WHO and MSF are also acceptable)
  6. Travel across the Atlantic
  7. Return to South America
  8. Read a book to, or with, an impressionably aged child
  9. Participate in one NanoWriMo Challenge and come within at least 10,000 words of the goal length
  10. Have my nose pierced
  11. Have my next tattoo drawn
  12. Purchase the perfect jeans (x 2 pairs)
  13. Attend a spin class 3 times a week for 8 consecutive weeks
  14. Bake Viv's cheesecake
  15. Make David's casserole
  16. Make David's Chicken Cashew-nut Stirfry
  17. Invite 4 people who don't know one another too well to dinner
  18. Ride from Vienna to Venice on a motorbike (pillion acceptable, those less desirable)
  19. Attend a book group for at least two books
  20. Go on a choir weekend (learn and perform difficult piece in two/three days)
  21. Visit Madame Tussaud's (in London)
  22. Take an architecture appreciation course
  23. Join an all-girl group and sing a solo
  24. Publish in a scientific journal (top two authors)
  25. Cook a duck or other 'waterfowl'.
  26. Locate the Al-Timimi's from Doha Veterinary Practise
  27. Have a pedicure
  28. Maintain a Brazilian (ouch) for three months.
  29. Find a trustworthy Czech hairdresser
  30. Treat my inner-6-year-old twice a week (at least)
  31. Do the liver-cleansing diet properly (12 weeks)
  32. Don't eat out for one month
  33. Find a flat and flatmate
  34. Purchase one Joseph sweater
  35. Purchase one of the following pairs of designer shoes (they MUST also be COMFORTABLE, and be able to be worn with 4 different outfits and 2 types of occasion): Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blahniks, Christian Louboutin (Ebay or 2nd hand are acceptable)
  36. Send 5 books to the booksphere and track them.
  37. Go hanggliding
  38. Read 10 'classic' books (from 1001 Books to Read before you Die)
    1. Moll Flanders
    2. Everything is illuminated
    3. Madam Bovary
    4. Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintainance
    5. Catch-22
    6. Odysseus
    7. On the Road
  1. Run (non-stop!) for 5kms outside (preferably in a street race thingy)
  2. Send Christmas Cards on time
  3. Make a collage/mural out of street lights on my wall
  4. Buy a bed, build it, and sleep soundly in it
  5. Go to Africa
  6. Host an 'event' (classified as and when)
  7. Organise a 30th Birthday Party
  8. Wear a costume
  9. Sing on stage
  10. Buy a painting that evokes memories of Prague (cannot involve queues!)
  11. Learn a god-damned card game that stays in my memory (other than fish/snap)
  12. See sunrise. Be sober. Have woken for it. Excludes months Nov-Mar
  13. Take a walk and flip coins at each intersection
  14. Win something
  15. Draft a will
  16. Take a roadtrip
  17. Go to Italy already
  18. Sea Kayak around Abel Tasman Park (NZ)
  19. Get plants
  20. Take a train to another Eastern European Destination (accession countries are acceptable) alone preferably.
  21. Get UK to give me a provisional motorcyclists license and simultaneously get a 'card' license.
  22. Go SCUBA diving again - at least two dives lasting 30mins each.
  23. Go to a dentist. *sigh*
  24. Do a Czech Wine Trail. And live to tell the tale
  25. Make an 'outbreak emergency kit'.
  26. Go to bed prior to 11pm every night (inc weekends) for four consecutive weeks.
  27. Marvel over lack of tiredness
  28. Dine at a Gordon Ramsey restaurant (or Nobu)- preferably for free.
  29. Bet on the nags
  30. Do something for charity (applying and getting a 'red card' will count)
  31. Walk along the Champs Elysee
  32. Do 100 sit ups in a row
  33. Do 50 pressups (arms in tight)
  34. Make branston pickle (or nearest substitute)
  35. Cook something 'new' and 'adventurous' at least once a month
  36. Find a mentor
  37. Be a mentor
  38. Learn what mentoring is all about
  39. Meet an online person in real life
  40. Resist the flirt. Once. Just one night. It's okay if people don't immediately succumb to my natural charm. Really it is.
  41. Spend time at a spa (spa towns in the CR don't count)
  42. Send a care package to someone
  43. Get a Tata Bojs CD
  45. Order new contact lenses.
  46. Make a list of things I take with me when I pack for different occasions
  47. Eat lobster. Prepared by someone else.
  48. Back up the blog
  49. Put everything onto an external hard drive
  50. Find a DDR mat and console and 'dance, I say dance!'�
  51. Go to the beach and lie on the warm sand. For an hour. (with sunscreen on, natch)
  52. Take and complete a course in either: Tango, Salsa or Flamenco
  53. Join the Municipal Library of Prague
  54. Move to another country
  55. Go to a live concert of a band I actually like
  56. Pay off debts (student loan excl.)
  57. Send thank you cards for every gift I receive (other than the gift of happiness, blah blah blah).
  58. Get an agent (literary or theatre)
  59. Go to a sports bar without cringing, by personal choice
  60. Ride a rollercoaster
  61. Hold a snake
  62. Spend a day wandering around a museum (not art gallery!)
Monday, 5 June 2006’s not just where the heart is. It’s where you feel secure; a sanctuary awaiting your return, filled with the things that make you feel happy, snugly and comforted."

Or so I told philosophy-Ben (mild-mannered American English teacher who wants to ‘be’ a philosopher by day…) about 30mins after meeting him on Friday. Adam has a bunch of friends: two of whom are named Ben. They each run a ‘club’ and attend one another’s: one is a politics club, the other a philosophy club (politics-Ben is a less mild-mannered English Investment Banker looking for WTO missions by day…). And yes, we DO find it mildly-disturbing that supposedly ‘growed-up’ men are running ‘clubs’. These are in addition to David (charming American author – just completed book on some special American author who’s name I forget) and River (lovely American English teaching philosophy graduate).

However, it IS entertaining to be with a bunch of people who don’t have science/tech backgrounds for a while. Pol-Ben and I have already had one long (animated?) discussion. Apparently, while I now think of him as entertainingly earnest and cute (I’m trying to be emasculating) in his absolute belief of a capitalist and ‘democratic’ governmental model, he couldn’t speak highly enough of me to phil-Ben. Who has also complimented me, I think, by telling me that he’s really happy that I’ve come into Adam’s life (and apartment, obviously). My succinct description of home is apparently almost verbatim what Adam also thinks home should be (question asked of us without prior knowledge, when we were approximately 30kms across town from one another). So yeah…although I’m sure we’re still in the honeymoon stage of flatting together, the compatibility index seems high!

Just as well, as battling Carrefour (now Tescos) together in a 45min dash with a wayward trolley (aren’t they all?) with someone on a different wavelength would be a nightmare. But off he went to get drinks, while I filled our trolley with “things to make into small nibbly things”. Menu for the evening: apricot-blue-cheese crowns, chicken tortilla/sushi rolls, tomato/basil bruschetta, mushroom/feta/arugula bruschetta, homemade guacamole/salsa and cornchips and homemade mutable (baba ganoush) with toasted pita bread.

All that for an invited 20 people (or thereabouts). And you know what? It all disappeared, eerily ‘flash’ like!

The evening went off (as they say in NZ), complete with a ‘half of intunition’ Java Jive moment (you knew it had to happen), a dance with a pot plant that loves a drink (KatII), a “here, put these on” costume change prior to ‘going out’, a 4am visit to Le Clan with Danish boys (alas, no, not that one) and a surly Australian chick, a 2pm (!) return home, 2:30pm joyous discovery of ‘not having spent all the cash withdrawn’, 3pm shower, 3:30pm post-party/evening gossip-sesh with Adam/Kat/River and a 6:30pm 40min snooze on the couch while the boys hunted food for dinner.

Learnt a new joke (set) though - courtesy of River – the “pirate” series. Apparently, we English English speakers aren’t ‘rotik’ (sp? Hell, I’m not sure I even remember the word correctly!) which means that we omit ‘r’s from our alphabet, pronouncing ‘are’ ‘ahh’ instead (bloody TEFL teachers!). To practice making r sounds, one thinks of pirates, and their favourite vocal emission which apparently results in fun and laughter all around. Witness:

Why did the pirate not want to walk home?
Because it was too faaaarrrrrr!

How did the pirate get home?
By caaarrrrr.

Hilarity ensues.

Stage direction there in case your reaction was a similar ‘raised eyebrow’ as mine.

However, it did lend us to finding out that in the States; pirates do not have ‘pieces of eight’ (R: How do pirates buy groceries? N: [frown] Um, pieces of eight? R: WTP?!!). So where did we get this piece of pirate knowledge from? In fact, in this vast database of knowledge we hold within our brains: where does the “pirate” page come from?

There is no ‘knock knock’ joke in Czech, either. But that didn’t stop Adam from inventing:
Knock knock
Who’s there?
The Who?

(yes, after trying to elucidate the reason why people think (both philosophy grads…ARGH!), THIS was the ‘lighter’ side of the evening)

But…horror of horrors, it seems I’ve run out of jokes (crap or otherwise). I simply can’t remember them.

So, my lovely readers, your mission – should you choose to accept it – is to send me (via comments, no e-mails) your favourite and most amusing joke. The one that makes me giggle the longest, or spray coffee the furthest from my nose, WINS!!!

P.S. Latest news out: hung government in the CR. The socialists and Christians are ganging up (100 seats) and the democrats and greens are doing likewise (100 seats). Ipso facto, plus ca change: plus que meme chose.
posted by Nomes @ Monday, June 05, 2006  
  • At 12:35 pm, June 05, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Not a joke as such, but (possibly) the final chapter in the hilarious story of Chris "Handbag" Masoe...

    Glad you're happy in the new flat!


  • At 9:05 am, June 06, 2006, Blogger Mums said…

    Hi GNomes,
    The food sounded lovely even if it only lasted a second - somehow food always does, even when one cooks for thousands, or at least hundreds then.
    Me? Tell a have to be kidding, especially with my famous favourite joke which makes you all cavort with laughter (can one do that) at my expense. And no I'm not going to repeat what it is that Sea Monsters love to eat.
    Incidentally, you can always do the "r" thing by pretending you're Scottish - works the same. And I think pieces of eight is rhyming slang, but for what I can't this minute remember. Blow, now I shall wake up in the middle of the night with answer, and whilst I could text you at that time of night cos you'd be up, I shan't have the brain & body working on the same plane so there's no way I'd connect thought to text thumb!
    Enough from me today. Bought new specs, which don't make much difference from the last, but they are a little tighter on my head and are therefore not so likely to fall off into my soup.
    Off to Rocky for the weekend. Speak soon. Love, Mums

  • At 10:03 am, June 06, 2006, Blogger Dad said…

    This from the male parent who hasn't got time to get his own ID on here (or inclination, I guess!)
    "pieces of eight" is not rhyming slang. I suspect that it originates in the ENGLISH language from Victorian authors like Defoe and similar, although I suspect that Defoe was a septic. Who wrote the book with 'Arrrrrghhh, Jim-lad" in it, anyway? Bloke with a parrot on his shoulder, and a hook, was the supporting star, and I can't even remember his name. A "senior moment", but my excuse is that I've just got home from work, where I've been being an electrical engineer all day. They are the engineers with the most vestigial personality, and only about 0.5% of them read anything other than text-books. I also suapect that pieces of eight represent either a tiny coin of value one eighth of a dubloon, or could even be, physically, one eighth of a gold coin, gold being quite soft, so that it con be cut with strong scissors. Evidently, crooked bankers used to "clip" gold coins, to steal a tiny bit of each! That's why coins of reasonable value still carry the traditional milled edge, so that you can see if it's been clipped! Same with silver coins, hence the dime & quarter, sixpence, shilling etc. are milled, they used to be silver.

  • At 10:03 am, June 06, 2006, Blogger Dad said…

    So, I have got an ID on here, I just can't rmemberit!!!

  • At 10:04 am, June 06, 2006, Blogger Dad said…

    And, it might be "vestigal"

  • At 10:20 am, June 06, 2006, Anonymous david said…


    Spanish pesos were also called piastres, Spanish dollars, and
    pieces of eight. (The piece of eight was so called because its
    value was eight reales. Some countries made one-real coins by
    slicing pieces of eight into eight sectors; the still-current U.S.
    slang "two bits" for a quarter of a dollar may refer to this,
    although "bit" denoting any small coin -- as in "threepenny bit" --

    Long tied to the lore of piracy, "pieces of eight" were manufactured in the Americas and transported in bulk back to Spain (to pay for wars and various other things), making them a very tempting target for seagoing pirates. Some pirates were among the richest people in the world.
    was already in use.)

  • At 3:02 am, June 07, 2006, Blogger Mums said…

    Pirates still are the richest people on earth, only these days we call them sharks, which is doubly unfair to the poor old shark

  • At 2:10 pm, June 09, 2006, Blogger Nis said…

    Donald Rumsfeld is briefing president Bush: “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”

    “Oh no!” exclaims the president, “that’s terrible!”

    His staff is stunned at this unprecedented display of emotion, watching as Bush sits, head in hands.

    Finally, he looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”

  • At 11:11 am, June 12, 2006, Anonymous Mark said…

    A proper joke:

    A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

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