The Adventure Continues...

Rants, raves and random observations from an itinerant epidemiologist.

 
100 in 1000
  1. Spend a week up a mountain learning to ski
  2. Visit Karoline's place in Moravia
  3. Hold a conversation in Czech (only)
  4. Drink 500ml of each of the following beers:
    1. Pilsner
    2. Staroprammen
    3. Budvar
    4. Velke Popovice
    5. U Fleku
    6. Gambrinus
    7. Krusovice
  5. Respond to at least one GOARN request (WHO and MSF are also acceptable)
  6. Travel across the Atlantic
  7. Return to South America
  8. Read a book to, or with, an impressionably aged child
  9. Participate in one NanoWriMo Challenge and come within at least 10,000 words of the goal length
  10. Have my nose pierced
  11. Have my next tattoo drawn
  12. Purchase the perfect jeans (x 2 pairs)
  13. Attend a spin class 3 times a week for 8 consecutive weeks
  14. Bake Viv's cheesecake
  15. Make David's casserole
  16. Make David's Chicken Cashew-nut Stirfry
  17. Invite 4 people who don't know one another too well to dinner
  18. Ride from Vienna to Venice on a motorbike (pillion acceptable, those less desirable)
  19. Attend a book group for at least two books
  20. Go on a choir weekend (learn and perform difficult piece in two/three days)
  21. Visit Madame Tussaud's (in London)
  22. Take an architecture appreciation course
  23. Join an all-girl group and sing a solo
  24. Publish in a scientific journal (top two authors)
  25. Cook a duck or other 'waterfowl'.
  26. Locate the Al-Timimi's from Doha Veterinary Practise
  27. Have a pedicure
  28. Maintain a Brazilian (ouch) for three months.
  29. Find a trustworthy Czech hairdresser
  30. Treat my inner-6-year-old twice a week (at least)
  31. Do the liver-cleansing diet properly (12 weeks)
  32. Don't eat out for one month
  33. Find a flat and flatmate
  34. Purchase one Joseph sweater
  35. Purchase one of the following pairs of designer shoes (they MUST also be COMFORTABLE, and be able to be worn with 4 different outfits and 2 types of occasion): Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blahniks, Christian Louboutin (Ebay or 2nd hand are acceptable)
  36. Send 5 books to the booksphere and track them.
  37. Go hanggliding
  38. Read 10 'classic' books (from 1001 Books to Read before you Die)
    1. Moll Flanders
    2. Everything is illuminated
    3. Madam Bovary
    4. Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintainance
    5. Catch-22
    6. Odysseus
    7. On the Road
  1. Run (non-stop!) for 5kms outside (preferably in a street race thingy)
  2. Send Christmas Cards on time
  3. Make a collage/mural out of street lights on my wall
  4. Buy a bed, build it, and sleep soundly in it
  5. Go to Africa
  6. Host an 'event' (classified as and when)
  7. Organise a 30th Birthday Party
  8. Wear a costume
  9. Sing on stage
  10. Buy a painting that evokes memories of Prague (cannot involve queues!)
  11. Learn a god-damned card game that stays in my memory (other than fish/snap)
  12. See sunrise. Be sober. Have woken for it. Excludes months Nov-Mar
  13. Take a walk and flip coins at each intersection
  14. Win something
  15. Draft a will
  16. Take a roadtrip
  17. Go to Italy already
  18. Sea Kayak around Abel Tasman Park (NZ)
  19. Get plants
  20. Take a train to another Eastern European Destination (accession countries are acceptable) alone preferably.
  21. Get UK to give me a provisional motorcyclists license and simultaneously get a 'card' license.
  22. Go SCUBA diving again - at least two dives lasting 30mins each.
  23. Go to a dentist. *sigh*
  24. Do a Czech Wine Trail. And live to tell the tale
  25. Make an 'outbreak emergency kit'.
  26. Go to bed prior to 11pm every night (inc weekends) for four consecutive weeks.
  27. Marvel over lack of tiredness
  28. Dine at a Gordon Ramsey restaurant (or Nobu)- preferably for free.
  29. Bet on the nags
  30. Do something for charity (applying and getting a 'red card' will count)
  31. Walk along the Champs Elysee
  32. Do 100 sit ups in a row
  33. Do 50 pressups (arms in tight)
  34. Make branston pickle (or nearest substitute)
  35. Cook something 'new' and 'adventurous' at least once a month
  36. Find a mentor
  37. Be a mentor
  38. Learn what mentoring is all about
  39. Meet an online person in real life
  40. Resist the flirt. Once. Just one night. It's okay if people don't immediately succumb to my natural charm. Really it is.
  41. Spend time at a spa (spa towns in the CR don't count)
  42. Send a care package to someone
  43. Get a Tata Bojs CD
  44. Take a French/German/Dutch course and SPEAK THE DAMNED LANGUAGE WHEN I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT!
  45. Order new contact lenses.
  46. Make a list of things I take with me when I pack for different occasions
  47. Eat lobster. Prepared by someone else.
  48. Back up the blog
  49. Put everything onto an external hard drive
  50. Find a DDR mat and console and 'dance, I say dance!'�
  51. Go to the beach and lie on the warm sand. For an hour. (with sunscreen on, natch)
  52. Take and complete a course in either: Tango, Salsa or Flamenco
  53. Join the Municipal Library of Prague
  54. Move to another country
  55. Go to a live concert of a band I actually like
  56. Pay off debts (student loan excl.)
  57. Send thank you cards for every gift I receive (other than the gift of happiness, blah blah blah).
  58. Get an agent (literary or theatre)
  59. Go to a sports bar without cringing, by personal choice
  60. Ride a rollercoaster
  61. Hold a snake
  62. Spend a day wandering around a museum (not art gallery!)
Tuesday, 15 August 2006
Warning: rant ahead. Bear in mind anything I say in the next entry may change in a split second. And I’ll probably take it down tomorrow – so make the most of the brief insight into Nomes’ state of mind IN REAL TIME while it lasts.

I HATE THIS PLACE AND I WANT TO GO HOME.

Army drill sergeant inside head says, “This is it baby. This is where you live now. This IS your home. Suck it up, you girl.”

Er – well, yes actually, I am a girl. Your point?

So, I forgot my keys – left them at home today. And the cleaning lady has already come and gone. And locked me into my building.

I have a choice: climb out of my office window – drop a few feet and hopefully land reasonably comfortably or call security and do this sensibly.
I (foolishly) chose the latter. Only, I’ve got no idea what the word for security is in Czech. Look up in dictionary. Check phone directory for our site. No match. Surprise sur-fucking-prise.

Phone a number that’s written on the fire evacuation plan thingy by the main door, figuring that’ll be SOMEONE helpful. Take a moment to congratulate self on masses of self-containment and observation skills.

Dial.

Have the most unsuccessful conversation I’ve ever, EVER struggled through. I’ve decided that tears of frustration at not being able to say the phrase “I’m locked in” really don’t help when you’re searching for the words instead to convey the following sequence of short ‘in the present tense’ phrases:

“I need help. I want to go home. I am in [or possibly at] building 30. I want to outside. I don’t have my key.” And are responded to with the words “I don’t understand.”

Am resorting to foul language – including Kunt with a C. Not CALLING him names, you understand (I totally agree it’s not his fault I don’t speak his language), this is AFTER we’ve hung up.

I’m sick of this. I’m tired and I’m done. I’m usually good at making myself understood, and I’m sitting here like a complete fucking waste of TIME, not able to use my brain, my intellect, ALL of the things that I’ve worked all my fucking life to hone because of some bastard fucking system that means I can’t read things/listen to things/think of things/act upon things in case people get upset. And to top it all off, I’m in a damned fire hazard/trap! ALL FOR 150E/month. It ISN’T worth it (though I would miss the travel).

You know what?

I want out.

I half hope the coordinators DO read this. Or some knight in shining white armour. Oh fuck it. This isn’t the movies (dear god, I wish it were…right now, someone would miraculously appear with a key. Either that or if the movie starred Meg Ryan they wouldn’t appear until AFTER I’d made an idiot of myself by getting stuck at the top of the fence or something…then there’d be an embarrassing interlude…where I’d STILL have great hair…)

Right. Window it is. Ciao all.

Remind myself that there is no such word as ‘helpful’ in the Czech lexicon. Seriously. Okay, I looked it up and there IS, but there's clearly no...no...willingness.

P.S. if any of you unhelpful wankers decide to remind me that it’s my fault for forgetting my keys, don’t think I haven’t already gone down the self-blame route. Did that about 40mins ago. Now am just angry (and slightly scared of view outside my window – do I procrastinate until it’s dark or just go or what? PLUS I have one more fence to climb over too…) This is ridiculous!

Rant endeth.
posted by Nomes @ Tuesday, August 15, 2006  
7 Comments:
  • At 11:46 pm, August 15, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hang in there Naomi, you have done so well to get this far, and although it seems hard, it doesn't always. Everyone back home is very proud of you. Chin up and take care of yourself.

     
  • At 10:23 am, August 16, 2006, Anonymous Marisa said…

    Nomes -- I too have had those days. The inability to comminicate is one of the MOST frustrating things.

    And I would imagine, especially frusrating for one as gifted with words as you :)

    I have been leveled for the last month or so by a backslide in my physiotherapy. Two steps forward, one HUGE ONE back. That's the way it goes sometimes.

    As a result, I didn't get read your 'request for books' blog entry until now.

    Here's a list or two of mine for you to check out.

    http://www.amazon.ca/gp/richpub/listmania/fullview/17EVZW736X5QG/ref=cm_lm_byauthor_title_full/701-7991662-0909933

    http://www.amazon.ca/gp/richpub/listmania/fullview/2JOADWP1BU7Z0/ref=cm_lm_byauthor_title_full/701-7991662-0909933

    Hopefully those links work for you -- let me know.

    Marisa

     
  • At 8:54 pm, August 16, 2006, Blogger Ann-Charlotte said…

    Aww dear I know how much being sick of a country/place can truly suck because I've been there (several times). I hope you'll get home OK and that you'll feel better in a little while. *hug*

     
  • At 11:12 pm, August 16, 2006, Blogger Mums said…

    Hi GNomes,
    The joys of expat land. No one ever tells you about the hard parts do they? But they are there in every posting, and I'm afraid now you get to do them for yourself without the parents around to shield you from the worst excesses.
    However, we do sympathise.
    And the frustrations of seemingly not achieveing anything is just the icing on the proverbial cake - though I don't know what you call it when you wan the opposite, cos cake sounds celebratory and you really have the icing on the anti cake. Semantics, but I hope you know what I mean.
    Well, you can come and share my problems with a great big family weekend in Englad - yay. At kleast it will make you forget about your Prague experience for a little while.
    Love you and see you soon, Mums

     
  • At 2:00 pm, August 17, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "when ever I feel afraid..." Ok.. perhaps you won't whistle a happy tune. However, sing your favorite broadway melody at the top of your voice, gain the attention of a startled ageing security officer, and nonchalantly stroll out into the evening a free woman. Hang in there doll- We misses you too. *hugs* - Brett

     
  • At 5:04 pm, August 17, 2006, Blogger homo_superior said…

    I always find it's best to say things as simply as possible.

    Ne mam klič!

    And then say it three our four times to make sure they understand.

    Ne mam klič! Ne mam klič! Ne mam klič! Ne mam klič!

    And then end with the universally understood:

    BIG PROB-LEM!

    or if you want to be more Czech

    Ty vole! Velka problem!

    Hope this helps in any future lock-ins/outs.

    :-)

     
  • At 5:05 pm, August 17, 2006, Blogger homo_superior said…

    Oh and thanks for my inclusion on your blogroll!

     
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