Rants, raves and random observations from an itinerant epidemiologist.
100 in 1000
Spend a week up a mountain learning to ski
Visit Karoline's place in Moravia
Hold a conversation in Czech (only)
Drink 500ml of each of the following beers:
Respond to at least one GOARN request (WHO and MSF are
Travel across the Atlantic
Return to South America
Read a book to, or with, an impressionably aged child
Participate in one NanoWriMo Challenge and come within at least 10,000 words of the goal length
Have my nose pierced
Have my next tattoo drawn
Purchase the perfect jeans (x 2 pairs)
Attend a spin class 3 times a week for 8 consecutive weeks
Bake Viv's cheesecake
Make David's casserole
Make David's Chicken Cashew-nut Stirfry
Invite 4 people who don't know one another too well to dinner
Ride from Vienna to Venice on a motorbike (pillion acceptable, those less desirable)
Attend a book group for at least two books
Go on a choir weekend (learn and perform difficult piece in two/three days)
Visit Madame Tussaud's (in London)
Take an architecture appreciation course
Join an all-girl group and sing a solo
Publish in a scientific journal (top two authors)
Cook a duck or other 'waterfowl'.
Locate the Al-Timimi's from Doha Veterinary Practise
Have a pedicure
Maintain a Brazilian (ouch) for three months.
Find a trustworthy Czech hairdresser
Treat my inner-6-year-old twice a week (at least)
Do the liver-cleansing diet properly (12 weeks)
Don't eat out for one month
Find a flat and flatmate
Purchase one Joseph sweater
Purchase one of the following pairs of
designer shoes (they MUST also be COMFORTABLE, and be able to be worn with 4
different outfits and 2 types of occasion): Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blahniks,
Christian Louboutin (Ebay or 2nd hand are acceptable)
Send 5 books to the booksphere and track them.
Read 10 'classic' books (from 1001 Books to Read before you Die)
Everything is illuminated
Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintainance
On the Road
Run (non-stop!) for 5kms outside (preferably in a street race thingy)
Send Christmas Cards on time
Make a collage/mural out of street lights on my wall
Buy a bed, build it, and sleep soundly in it
Go to Africa
Host an 'event' (classified as and when)
Organise a 30th Birthday Party
Wear a costume
Sing on stage
Buy a painting that evokes memories of Prague (cannot involve queues!)
Learn a god-damned card game that stays in my memory (other than fish/snap)
See sunrise. Be sober. Have woken for it. Excludes months Nov-Mar
Take a walk and flip coins at each intersection
Draft a will
Take a roadtrip
Go to Italy already
Sea Kayak around Abel Tasman Park (NZ)
Take a train to another Eastern European Destination (accession countries are acceptable) alone preferably.
Get UK to give me a provisional motorcyclists license and simultaneously get a 'card' license.
Go SCUBA diving again - at least two dives lasting 30mins each.
Go to a dentist. *sigh*
Do a Czech Wine Trail. And live to tell the tale
Make an 'outbreak emergency kit'.
Go to bed prior to 11pm every night (inc weekends) for four consecutive weeks.
Marvel over lack of tiredness
Dine at a Gordon Ramsey restaurant (or Nobu)- preferably for free.
Bet on the nags
Do something for charity (applying and getting a 'red card' will count)
Walk along the Champs Elysee
Do 100 sit ups in a row
Do 50 pressups (arms in tight)
Make branston pickle (or nearest substitute)
Cook something 'new' and 'adventurous' at least once a month
Find a mentor
Be a mentor
Learn what mentoring is all about
Meet an online person in real life
Resist the flirt. Once. Just one night. It's okay if people don't immediately succumb to my natural charm. Really it is.
Spend time at a spa (spa towns in the CR don't count)
Send a care package to someone
Get a Tata Bojs CD
Take a French/German/Dutch course and SPEAK THE DAMNED LANGUAGE WHEN I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES ME SOUND
LIKE AN IDIOT!
Order new contact lenses.
Make a list of things I take with me when I pack for different occasions
Eat lobster. Prepared by someone else.
Back up the blog
Put everything onto an external hard drive
Find a DDR mat and console and 'dance, I say dance!'�
Go to the beach and lie on the warm sand. For an hour. (with sunscreen on, natch)
Take and complete a course in either: Tango, Salsa or Flamenco
Join the Municipal Library of Prague
Move to another country
Go to a live concert of a band I actually like
Pay off debts (student loan excl.)
Send thank you cards for every gift I receive (other than the gift of happiness, blah blah blah).
Get an agent (literary or theatre)
Go to a sports bar without cringing, by personal choice
Ride a rollercoaster
Hold a snake
Spend a day wandering around a museum (not art gallery!)
Guide to Dating Men in the Czech Republic - What NOT to do
Tuesday, 19 December 2006
*ahem* Look AWAY parents. Now, please.*
Drink copious quantities of bad red wine.
Get maudlin with friends who are soon to depart.
See them safely home.
Contact Mr. Unsuitable**.
Arrange to meet in town.
Go to the wrong place.
Wander through crowded club at .
Fake a phone call outside with flatmate so that people don’t realise you have NO MATES.
Collect new sms with new venue.
Walk through town at .
Drink cathartic (and warming) shots of vodka.
Dance with Mr. Unsuitable’s friend.
Be driven to Mr. Unsuitable’s house.
Wish you were home.
Crawl into Mr Unsuitable’s single bed, first climbing over his friends mattress on the floor.
Try (drunkenly) to 'get it on'. (it gets worse from here)
Be gently (wisely) rebuked.
Develop drunken strop, and storm off, depositing borrowed t-shirt in bathroom.
Stand at the main door to the building, shaking the door knob because the door’s locked.
Wait to be let out.
Expound (slurringly) on any or all of the following themes:
I want to be wanted. (Under no circumstances should you attempt to sing this in a “10 things I hate about you” kind of way. It does not work).
I’m tired of playing ridiculous, petty and idiotic games where you’re supposed to wait (time text received) – (time text sent) + ((time text received) – (time text sent))/ before continuing corresponding.
I’m tired of caring for everyone else’s welfare and having no one to care about mine.
No one would notice if I died until my putrefying body had dribbled through the mattress and started seeping out the door of my room. (10 points if you can say putrefying on the first attempt – and have it recognised as a word by the weary listener)
I’m tired of trying to behave like a 17-year-old*** when all I want to do is behave like an adult.
I just want to go home. Please let me go.
Walk out the door.
Knock on the door for directions to the tram stop.
Walk three steps past the building and sink to your knees gnawing on your knuckles thinking "You're such an idiot! You know your motto...never breakdown...certainly not in front of someone else and for god's sake not in front of someone without the desire to cope with it! ARGH!"
Be stunned (Norwegian Blue style) when Mr Unsuitable exits building, poorly dressed for the cold, finds you, crouches down and wraps his arms around you and waits till you’re done.
Be persuaded that you COULD actually just come and sleep in the bed where it was warm, and would be taken home in the morning
Go back upstairs feeling like a complete dork
Presume you’ll despise yourself in the morning
Wake up reasonably perky (likely, still semi-inebriated)
Apologise for acting like a dick (well, actually, this IS something you should do)
Be reassured that you hadn't.(Because, you so did!)
Be taken home. (About 10hrs too late to humiliate yourself, but sobeit)
Apparently, this is neither the way to appear mysterious, glamorous nor desirable. Who’da thunk it?
*This farcical instruction indicates to them that, under no circumstances should they indicate that they have read this. They pretend they haven't read it, and so do I, knowing full well that they have. Yet, my delusions and poor excuse for a personality can remain undiscussed at the next family get-together. Hoorah. **Last spotted screaming and headed for the hills. Surprised? ***Yeah, I know. It’s ironic, innit?