The Adventure Continues...

Rants, raves and random observations from an itinerant epidemiologist.

100 in 1000
  1. Spend a week up a mountain learning to ski
  2. Visit Karoline's place in Moravia
  3. Hold a conversation in Czech (only)
  4. Drink 500ml of each of the following beers:
    1. Pilsner
    2. Staroprammen
    3. Budvar
    4. Velke Popovice
    5. U Fleku
    6. Gambrinus
    7. Krusovice
  5. Respond to at least one GOARN request (WHO and MSF are also acceptable)
  6. Travel across the Atlantic
  7. Return to South America
  8. Read a book to, or with, an impressionably aged child
  9. Participate in one NanoWriMo Challenge and come within at least 10,000 words of the goal length
  10. Have my nose pierced
  11. Have my next tattoo drawn
  12. Purchase the perfect jeans (x 2 pairs)
  13. Attend a spin class 3 times a week for 8 consecutive weeks
  14. Bake Viv's cheesecake
  15. Make David's casserole
  16. Make David's Chicken Cashew-nut Stirfry
  17. Invite 4 people who don't know one another too well to dinner
  18. Ride from Vienna to Venice on a motorbike (pillion acceptable, those less desirable)
  19. Attend a book group for at least two books
  20. Go on a choir weekend (learn and perform difficult piece in two/three days)
  21. Visit Madame Tussaud's (in London)
  22. Take an architecture appreciation course
  23. Join an all-girl group and sing a solo
  24. Publish in a scientific journal (top two authors)
  25. Cook a duck or other 'waterfowl'.
  26. Locate the Al-Timimi's from Doha Veterinary Practise
  27. Have a pedicure
  28. Maintain a Brazilian (ouch) for three months.
  29. Find a trustworthy Czech hairdresser
  30. Treat my inner-6-year-old twice a week (at least)
  31. Do the liver-cleansing diet properly (12 weeks)
  32. Don't eat out for one month
  33. Find a flat and flatmate
  34. Purchase one Joseph sweater
  35. Purchase one of the following pairs of designer shoes (they MUST also be COMFORTABLE, and be able to be worn with 4 different outfits and 2 types of occasion): Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blahniks, Christian Louboutin (Ebay or 2nd hand are acceptable)
  36. Send 5 books to the booksphere and track them.
  37. Go hanggliding
  38. Read 10 'classic' books (from 1001 Books to Read before you Die)
    1. Moll Flanders
    2. Everything is illuminated
    3. Madam Bovary
    4. Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintainance
    5. Catch-22
    6. Odysseus
    7. On the Road
  1. Run (non-stop!) for 5kms outside (preferably in a street race thingy)
  2. Send Christmas Cards on time
  3. Make a collage/mural out of street lights on my wall
  4. Buy a bed, build it, and sleep soundly in it
  5. Go to Africa
  6. Host an 'event' (classified as and when)
  7. Organise a 30th Birthday Party
  8. Wear a costume
  9. Sing on stage
  10. Buy a painting that evokes memories of Prague (cannot involve queues!)
  11. Learn a god-damned card game that stays in my memory (other than fish/snap)
  12. See sunrise. Be sober. Have woken for it. Excludes months Nov-Mar
  13. Take a walk and flip coins at each intersection
  14. Win something
  15. Draft a will
  16. Take a roadtrip
  17. Go to Italy already
  18. Sea Kayak around Abel Tasman Park (NZ)
  19. Get plants
  20. Take a train to another Eastern European Destination (accession countries are acceptable) alone preferably.
  21. Get UK to give me a provisional motorcyclists license and simultaneously get a 'card' license.
  22. Go SCUBA diving again - at least two dives lasting 30mins each.
  23. Go to a dentist. *sigh*
  24. Do a Czech Wine Trail. And live to tell the tale
  25. Make an 'outbreak emergency kit'.
  26. Go to bed prior to 11pm every night (inc weekends) for four consecutive weeks.
  27. Marvel over lack of tiredness
  28. Dine at a Gordon Ramsey restaurant (or Nobu)- preferably for free.
  29. Bet on the nags
  30. Do something for charity (applying and getting a 'red card' will count)
  31. Walk along the Champs Elysee
  32. Do 100 sit ups in a row
  33. Do 50 pressups (arms in tight)
  34. Make branston pickle (or nearest substitute)
  35. Cook something 'new' and 'adventurous' at least once a month
  36. Find a mentor
  37. Be a mentor
  38. Learn what mentoring is all about
  39. Meet an online person in real life
  40. Resist the flirt. Once. Just one night. It's okay if people don't immediately succumb to my natural charm. Really it is.
  41. Spend time at a spa (spa towns in the CR don't count)
  42. Send a care package to someone
  43. Get a Tata Bojs CD
  45. Order new contact lenses.
  46. Make a list of things I take with me when I pack for different occasions
  47. Eat lobster. Prepared by someone else.
  48. Back up the blog
  49. Put everything onto an external hard drive
  50. Find a DDR mat and console and 'dance, I say dance!'�
  51. Go to the beach and lie on the warm sand. For an hour. (with sunscreen on, natch)
  52. Take and complete a course in either: Tango, Salsa or Flamenco
  53. Join the Municipal Library of Prague
  54. Move to another country
  55. Go to a live concert of a band I actually like
  56. Pay off debts (student loan excl.)
  57. Send thank you cards for every gift I receive (other than the gift of happiness, blah blah blah).
  58. Get an agent (literary or theatre)
  59. Go to a sports bar without cringing, by personal choice
  60. Ride a rollercoaster
  61. Hold a snake
  62. Spend a day wandering around a museum (not art gallery!)
Drag's great moment
Wednesday, 25 April 2007
Once a year, around about now, the continent of Europe (plus, it seems) undergoes a sort of mass-psychosis. It’s not dissimilar to that leading up to the Idol finals, but this time, the stakes are much, much lower. And Ryan Seacrest is nowhere to be found.

Yes folks, it’s Eurovision time. This year, the broadcast final coincides with my birthday. So, I’ve had a look at the contestants online. Which means that you don’t need to. Merely follow my brief summary of the contestants below, then feel free to ignore the entire phenomenon until next year. Remember, I do this for YOU! (but if you insist on going it alone, then feel free to witness the horror spectacle here)

Armenia – they have silk being blown by a fan, close to a fire. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Safety first, please, ESC! Oh, but in a ‘Ghost’ moment, he makes a pot, which is almost worthy of forgiving the white t-shirt tucked (only over the belt) into white trousers – almost. A ballerina appears.

Bosnia and Herzegovina – managed to make a river barge look interesting. And even wore Eastern European ‘fashion’ well. Suffers from a small infestation of blackbirds though – released ‘dove style’ from behind the singer at a momentous key change. Also: French horn players should probably not play the French horn over a BBQ. I’m just guessing on this one though – Nine? Please confirm.

Finland – representing the skatey set, with an charming little tale of a love triangle. Chicks fight.

France – where it’s habit to have two people running beside/behind a vespa with two blokes on it wearing pink helmets. They also take franglais to lofty new, oxygen deprived heights – by rhyming words from either language, i.e. ‘semaine’ rhymes with ‘main’. I feel schizophrenic.

Germany – Very weird to hear a 50’s type rat pack song sung in German. But other than appearing to have an eye infection (or: he needs to sack his makeup artist), it’s actually really good. Musically.

Greece – So THAT’S what happened to the old set of the Greece film – nice touch. Someone needs to remind them that short white dungarees are not cool. But he’s hot. Very hot. Ouch.

Ireland – time-delay, children painting while teachers sing and play traditional instruments. Bring back the Corrs.

Lithuania – recently discovered video splicing and powerpoint

Romania – apparently loves [me] from his airless vantage point in space. Really – he has planets orbiting him. Would that I were making this shit up.

Russia – still fuelling the fire of “schoolgirl fantasies” (note, not school girl fantasies – as that would involve more ponies and sleepovers)

Spain – manufactured to shrug and samba in a Spanish manner. All short.

Sweden – still entering Abba songs, albeit in the guise of a(nother) drag queen.

UK – trolly dollies (male and female, obviously gay and possibly straight – to appeal to the widest audience) attempting to prove UK’s newfound europhilism by mentioning the capital cities of EVERY country in Europe.

Ukraine - scared of aliens reading their brain waves, so have subsequently protected themselves with an alluring combination of disco mirror balls and tin foil.

Not in the final, but worthy of a sneering mention:

  • Albania - scary SCARY mo'. Terrifying
  • Belarus - took hints from Labyrinth, and added a circus. Terrifying.
  • Bulgaria – Eurovision is not a wet-tshirt competition (actually, I reserve the right to change my opinion on that). A ‘vampire’ has 'bat' wings not feathery black ones. Two drum kits (inc a Japanese drum and some bongos) do not a song make.
  • Cyprus - so so (ha ha)
  • Czech Republic - bad rock. In a language only 10mil people worldwide can comprehend. Way to attract votes, guys.
  • Georgia - used a videographer who previously worked for national geographic.
  • Iceland and Croatia - er, is there a maximum age limit?
  • Israel - couldn’t decide between German oompah-loompah, Gilbert & Sullivan, tetris, busking, and hip hop, so sang them all, about the inevitable destruction of the world. It's compelling.
  • Latvia – using opera singers is cheating. The top hats, tux jackets and jeans (and MEDALS!!?) are not a good look. Just in case you were wondering. Even if one of your singers looks like Gael Garcia Bernal.
  • Macedonia – backing dancers wearing shorts, and doing some sort of weird synchronized swimming thing around the singer. Was she really a fountain in disguise?
  • Norway – There’s a costume change here which is so impressive, it’s worth watching. It is DAMNED good - and puts our quick change into whores to shame (in Les Mis), really it does.
  • Poland - a dance club, a bar, a changing room, the stage of a musical – someone accidentally stumbled over the wardrobe department of an amateur theatre, added some brass instruments, a bit of rap and called it a song. WTPoland?
  • Portugal – have a helicopter operated camera – inside a studio. Nauseating.
  • Slovenia - see Latvia, re opera singers. And please, use a male with hair on his legs, that was just weird.
  • Switzerland - vampires, ‘we are alive, we will live forever’ etc. Stick to watches, chocolate, banking and knives people.

The drag theme is quite prevalent this year, even amongst the female contestants. Apparently this is to persuade the millions thousands of watchers to vote. The voters demographic are apparently: paid up, card-carrying, boa trailing, false-eyelash fluttering, glitzy gown wearing lipsynchers of show tunes.

My voting form arrived in the mail today.

P.S. It’s ANZAC day. We will remember them.

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posted by Nomes @ Wednesday, April 25, 2007  
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