100 in 1000 |
- Spend a week up a mountain learning to ski
- Visit Karoline's place in Moravia
Hold a conversation in Czech (only)
- Drink 500ml of each of the following beers:
Pilsner
Staroprammen
- Budvar
- Velke Popovice
- U Fleku
Gambrinus
Krusovice
Respond to at least one GOARN request (WHO and MSF are
also acceptable)
Travel across the Atlantic
Return to South America
- Read a book to, or with, an impressionably aged child
- Participate in one NanoWriMo Challenge and come within at least 10,000 words of the goal length
Have my nose pierced
- Have my next tattoo drawn
Purchase the perfect jeans (x 2 pairs)
- Attend a spin class 3 times a week for 8 consecutive weeks
- Bake Viv's cheesecake
Make David's casserole
Make David's Chicken Cashew-nut Stirfry
Invite 4 people who don't know one another too well to dinner
- Ride from Vienna to Venice on a motorbike (pillion acceptable, those less desirable)
- Attend a book group for at least two books
- Go on a choir weekend (learn and perform difficult piece in two/three days)
- Visit Madame Tussaud's (in London)
- Take an architecture appreciation course
Join an all-girl group and sing a solo
Publish in a scientific journal (top two authors)
Cook a duck or other 'waterfowl'.
Locate the Al-Timimi's from Doha Veterinary Practise
Have a pedicure
Maintain a Brazilian (ouch) for three months.
Find a trustworthy Czech hairdresser
- Treat my inner-6-year-old twice a week (at least)
- Do the liver-cleansing diet properly (12 weeks)
- Don't eat out for one month
Find a flat and flatmate
- Purchase one Joseph sweater
- Purchase one of the following pairs of
designer shoes (they MUST also be COMFORTABLE, and be able to be worn with 4
different outfits and 2 types of occasion): Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blahniks,
Christian Louboutin (Ebay or 2nd hand are acceptable)
- Send 5 books to the booksphere and track them.
- Go hanggliding
- Read 10 'classic' books (from 1001 Books to Read before you Die)
Moll Flanders
Everything is illuminated
Madam Bovary
Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintainance
Catch-22
Odysseus
On the Road
- Run (non-stop!) for 5kms outside (preferably in a street race thingy)
- Send Christmas Cards on time
Make a collage/mural out of street lights on my wall
Buy a bed, build it, and sleep soundly in it
Go to Africa
Host an 'event' (classified as and when)
Organise a 30th Birthday Party
Wear a costume
- Sing on stage
- Buy a painting that evokes memories of Prague (cannot involve queues!)
Learn a god-damned card game that stays in my memory (other than fish/snap)
See sunrise. Be sober. Have woken for it. Excludes months Nov-Mar
- Take a walk and flip coins at each intersection
Win something
- Draft a will
- Take a roadtrip
Go to Italy already
- Sea Kayak around Abel Tasman Park (NZ)
Get plants
Take a train to another Eastern European Destination (accession countries are acceptable) alone preferably.
- Get UK to give me a provisional motorcyclists license and simultaneously get a 'card' license.
- Go SCUBA diving again - at least two dives lasting 30mins each.
Go to a dentist. *sigh*
- Do a Czech Wine Trail. And live to tell the tale
- Make an 'outbreak emergency kit'.
- Go to bed prior to 11pm every night (inc weekends) for four consecutive weeks.
- Marvel over lack of tiredness
- Dine at a Gordon Ramsey restaurant (or Nobu)- preferably for free.
Bet on the nags
- Do something for charity (applying and getting a 'red card' will count)
- Walk along the Champs Elysee
- Do 100 sit ups in a row
- Do 50 pressups (arms in tight)
- Make branston pickle (or nearest substitute)
- Cook something 'new' and 'adventurous' at least once a month
Find a mentor
Be a mentor
Learn what mentoring is all about
Meet an online person in real life
Resist the flirt. Once. Just one night. It's okay if people don't immediately succumb to my natural charm. Really it is.
Spend time at a spa (spa towns in the CR don't count)
- Send a care package to someone
Get a Tata Bojs CD
- Take a French/German/Dutch course and SPEAK THE DAMNED LANGUAGE WHEN I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES ME SOUND
LIKE AN IDIOT!
- Order new contact lenses.
Make a list of things I take with me when I pack for different occasions
- Eat lobster. Prepared by someone else.
Back up the blog
Put everything onto an external hard drive
- Find a DDR mat and console and 'dance, I say dance!'�
- Go to the beach and lie on the warm sand. For an hour. (with sunscreen on, natch)
- Take and complete a course in either: Tango, Salsa or Flamenco
- Join the Municipal Library of Prague
- Move to another country
Go to a live concert of a band I actually like
- Pay off debts (student loan excl.)
Send thank you cards for every gift I receive (other than the gift of happiness, blah blah blah).
- Get an agent (literary or theatre)
- Go to a sports bar without cringing, by personal choice
- Ride a rollercoaster
- Hold a snake
Spend a day wandering around a museum (not art gallery!)
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Q’s Last Request |
Friday, 22 December 2006 |
Continuing with the assumption that I am rich and famous, I have decided to change Q’s last request article (this month: Moby) and interview myself. Chalk this one up to “reasons to have a blog”.
How have you checked out? Headlines will either read: “Researcher dies of own disease” as I die of some horrible syndrome named after me that I discovered (and subsequently named) OR “Grand Dame of Epidemiology dies Peacefully” (by that you can read: in her sleep)
The last song playing in your head was… Probably the last one I heard a small snippet of, while being wheeled to the hospital or before I drifted off into sleep. It’ll be something ridiculous: Dancing Queen, Macarena, The Ketchup Song. Pity me now.
Where did you first hear it? In a car. On a free/moterway/autobahn. With the top up and the stereo cranked. I never realised how much I'd miss driving.
Three other songs for your funeral playlist? Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) – Nancy Sinatra Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps – Doris Day Son of a Preacher Man – Dusty Springfield Solely because it will be the novel for the audience gathering to hear these songs without my voice.
To make the audience cry: On my own – Les Miserables You must love me – Evita Drink with me – Les Miserables
And to make them laugh: Grizabella the gumbie cat – Cats U don’t dance to techno anymore – Alabama3 Cantaloupe – US3 Connected – Stereo MC’s
..oh hell, basically, put my iPod on shuffle and leave it be!
Who’s on your guest list? Everyone who’s ever met me. I’d rather there were more of the people who thought, “now SHE’S pretty cool” instead of those who thought, “Oh my god, she’s insane!”, but dead people aren’t so choosy.
Burial or cremation? I did think perhaps the “twang ‘im into a tree” approach, but have since decided that I’m gonna go up in flames.
The service will run as follows… Everyone will turn up at the parlour/cremation place – I don’t want a ‘sit-in’ cos that’s grim and the process of decay would’ve already started. Blee.
Anyway: you arrive. There’s a party atmosphere. Possibly a piñata. Drinks are handed out. I’m already on the trolley, ready to be reheated. Someone has to perforate my…oh no…hang on…that’s lunch.
Okay, so drinking, listening to my music. Someone’s gotta start a rather random eulogy session. I’m nominating you, Nine. People piping up with anecdotes along the lines of “oh my god, were you there when she…” or some fans and follow with “did you read the bit where…”
After an enjoyable hour of getting plastered and trying to outcompete each other with Nomi-tales you’ll realise that it was all blogged anyway, and everyone knows me as well as I do.
When the last slightly audible sigh at the end of the last story has been heard, the gurney will start (as if by magic, but in reality, some kid’ll have the remote control) and I’ll go into the chamber. You’ll only notice that I’m halfway through the curtains already, when someone points it out. (notice: I haven’t ever been to a cremation, I have NO IDEA how this works) and will turn and watch as I disappear for good.
Heavy hearted, you’ll all think sombre thoughts till someone says, “shit, who’s gonna take her blog down?”. Then the party will slowly disperse. I don’t want you to all go to a venue for food afterwards, but if you must, then fish’n’chips on a beach for my family and select friends (9, D, etc.) would be ‘k with this ghost.
The biggest question is: where the hell will I have my body repatriated to? And who can fly there in time? And who’s gonna get the bubbles in? Maybe you can all bring your own bottle and glass. Now THAT’S more like it. A BYO Cremation.
First person you’ll call in the afterlife? Mae West.
One person you’ll want sent downstairs? Despite not believing in the upstairs/downstairs divide, or even the afterlife, I reckon that anyone who should be in the cellar will already be. Of course, that might include me, and Ms West, so if I can send anyone upstairs, I’d do that instead.
The epitaph on your tombstone will read: “Now, which shoes go with this whole death thing…?” |
posted by Nomes @ Friday, December 22, 2006 |
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