The Adventure Continues...

Rants, raves and random observations from an itinerant epidemiologist.

 
100 in 1000
  1. Spend a week up a mountain learning to ski
  2. Visit Karoline's place in Moravia
  3. Hold a conversation in Czech (only)
  4. Drink 500ml of each of the following beers:
    1. Pilsner
    2. Staroprammen
    3. Budvar
    4. Velke Popovice
    5. U Fleku
    6. Gambrinus
    7. Krusovice
  5. Respond to at least one GOARN request (WHO and MSF are also acceptable)
  6. Travel across the Atlantic
  7. Return to South America
  8. Read a book to, or with, an impressionably aged child
  9. Participate in one NanoWriMo Challenge and come within at least 10,000 words of the goal length
  10. Have my nose pierced
  11. Have my next tattoo drawn
  12. Purchase the perfect jeans (x 2 pairs)
  13. Attend a spin class 3 times a week for 8 consecutive weeks
  14. Bake Viv's cheesecake
  15. Make David's casserole
  16. Make David's Chicken Cashew-nut Stirfry
  17. Invite 4 people who don't know one another too well to dinner
  18. Ride from Vienna to Venice on a motorbike (pillion acceptable, those less desirable)
  19. Attend a book group for at least two books
  20. Go on a choir weekend (learn and perform difficult piece in two/three days)
  21. Visit Madame Tussaud's (in London)
  22. Take an architecture appreciation course
  23. Join an all-girl group and sing a solo
  24. Publish in a scientific journal (top two authors)
  25. Cook a duck or other 'waterfowl'.
  26. Locate the Al-Timimi's from Doha Veterinary Practise
  27. Have a pedicure
  28. Maintain a Brazilian (ouch) for three months.
  29. Find a trustworthy Czech hairdresser
  30. Treat my inner-6-year-old twice a week (at least)
  31. Do the liver-cleansing diet properly (12 weeks)
  32. Don't eat out for one month
  33. Find a flat and flatmate
  34. Purchase one Joseph sweater
  35. Purchase one of the following pairs of designer shoes (they MUST also be COMFORTABLE, and be able to be worn with 4 different outfits and 2 types of occasion): Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blahniks, Christian Louboutin (Ebay or 2nd hand are acceptable)
  36. Send 5 books to the booksphere and track them.
  37. Go hanggliding
  38. Read 10 'classic' books (from 1001 Books to Read before you Die)
    1. Moll Flanders
    2. Everything is illuminated
    3. Madam Bovary
    4. Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintainance
    5. Catch-22
    6. Odysseus
    7. On the Road
  1. Run (non-stop!) for 5kms outside (preferably in a street race thingy)
  2. Send Christmas Cards on time
  3. Make a collage/mural out of street lights on my wall
  4. Buy a bed, build it, and sleep soundly in it
  5. Go to Africa
  6. Host an 'event' (classified as and when)
  7. Organise a 30th Birthday Party
  8. Wear a costume
  9. Sing on stage
  10. Buy a painting that evokes memories of Prague (cannot involve queues!)
  11. Learn a god-damned card game that stays in my memory (other than fish/snap)
  12. See sunrise. Be sober. Have woken for it. Excludes months Nov-Mar
  13. Take a walk and flip coins at each intersection
  14. Win something
  15. Draft a will
  16. Take a roadtrip
  17. Go to Italy already
  18. Sea Kayak around Abel Tasman Park (NZ)
  19. Get plants
  20. Take a train to another Eastern European Destination (accession countries are acceptable) alone preferably.
  21. Get UK to give me a provisional motorcyclists license and simultaneously get a 'card' license.
  22. Go SCUBA diving again - at least two dives lasting 30mins each.
  23. Go to a dentist. *sigh*
  24. Do a Czech Wine Trail. And live to tell the tale
  25. Make an 'outbreak emergency kit'.
  26. Go to bed prior to 11pm every night (inc weekends) for four consecutive weeks.
  27. Marvel over lack of tiredness
  28. Dine at a Gordon Ramsey restaurant (or Nobu)- preferably for free.
  29. Bet on the nags
  30. Do something for charity (applying and getting a 'red card' will count)
  31. Walk along the Champs Elysee
  32. Do 100 sit ups in a row
  33. Do 50 pressups (arms in tight)
  34. Make branston pickle (or nearest substitute)
  35. Cook something 'new' and 'adventurous' at least once a month
  36. Find a mentor
  37. Be a mentor
  38. Learn what mentoring is all about
  39. Meet an online person in real life
  40. Resist the flirt. Once. Just one night. It's okay if people don't immediately succumb to my natural charm. Really it is.
  41. Spend time at a spa (spa towns in the CR don't count)
  42. Send a care package to someone
  43. Get a Tata Bojs CD
  44. Take a French/German/Dutch course and SPEAK THE DAMNED LANGUAGE WHEN I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT!
  45. Order new contact lenses.
  46. Make a list of things I take with me when I pack for different occasions
  47. Eat lobster. Prepared by someone else.
  48. Back up the blog
  49. Put everything onto an external hard drive
  50. Find a DDR mat and console and 'dance, I say dance!'�
  51. Go to the beach and lie on the warm sand. For an hour. (with sunscreen on, natch)
  52. Take and complete a course in either: Tango, Salsa or Flamenco
  53. Join the Municipal Library of Prague
  54. Move to another country
  55. Go to a live concert of a band I actually like
  56. Pay off debts (student loan excl.)
  57. Send thank you cards for every gift I receive (other than the gift of happiness, blah blah blah).
  58. Get an agent (literary or theatre)
  59. Go to a sports bar without cringing, by personal choice
  60. Ride a rollercoaster
  61. Hold a snake
  62. Spend a day wandering around a museum (not art gallery!)
Q’s Last Request
Friday 22 December 2006
Continuing with the assumption that I am rich and famous, I have decided to change Q’s last request article (this month: Moby) and interview myself. Chalk this one up to “reasons to have a blog”.

How have you checked out?
Headlines will either read: “Researcher dies of own disease” as I die of some horrible syndrome named after me that I discovered (and subsequently named) OR “Grand Dame of Epidemiology dies Peacefully” (by that you can read: in her sleep)

The last song playing in your head was…
Probably the last one I heard a small snippet of, while being wheeled to the hospital or before I drifted off into sleep. It’ll be something ridiculous: Dancing Queen, Macarena, The Ketchup Song. Pity me now.

Where did you first hear it?
In a car. On a free/moterway/autobahn. With the top up and the stereo cranked. I never realised how much I'd miss driving.

Three other songs for your funeral playlist?
Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) – Nancy Sinatra
Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps – Doris Day
Son of a Preacher Man – Dusty Springfield
Solely because it will be the novel for the audience gathering to hear these songs without my voice.

To make the audience cry:
On my own – Les Miserables
You must love me – Evita
Drink with me – Les Miserables

And to make them laugh:
Grizabella the gumbie cat – Cats
U don’t dance to techno anymore – Alabama3
Cantaloupe – US3
Connected – Stereo MC’s

..oh hell, basically, put my iPod on shuffle and leave it be!

Who’s on your guest list?
Everyone who’s ever met me. I’d rather there were more of the people who thought, “now SHE’S pretty cool” instead of those who thought, “Oh my god, she’s insane!”, but dead people aren’t so choosy.

Burial or cremation?
I did think perhaps the “twang ‘im into a tree” approach, but have since decided that I’m gonna go up in flames.

The service will run as follows…
Everyone will turn up at the parlour/cremation place – I don’t want a ‘sit-in’ cos that’s grim and the process of decay would’ve already started. Blee.

Anyway: you arrive. There’s a party atmosphere. Possibly a piñata. Drinks are handed out. I’m already on the trolley, ready to be reheated. Someone has to perforate my…oh no…hang on…that’s lunch.

Okay, so drinking, listening to my music. Someone’s gotta start a rather random eulogy session. I’m nominating you, Nine. People piping up with anecdotes along the lines of “oh my god, were you there when she…” or some fans and follow with “did you read the bit where…”

After an enjoyable hour of getting plastered and trying to outcompete each other with Nomi-tales you’ll realise that it was all blogged anyway, and everyone knows me as well as I do.

When the last slightly audible sigh at the end of the last story has been heard, the gurney will start (as if by magic, but in reality, some kid’ll have the remote control) and I’ll go into the chamber. You’ll only notice that I’m halfway through the curtains already, when someone points it out. (notice: I haven’t ever been to a cremation, I have NO IDEA how this works) and will turn and watch as I disappear for good.

Heavy hearted, you’ll all think sombre thoughts till someone says, “shit, who’s gonna take her blog down?”. Then the party will slowly disperse. I don’t want you to all go to a venue for food afterwards, but if you must, then fish’n’chips on a beach for my family and select friends (9, D, etc.) would be ‘k with this ghost.

The biggest question is:
where the hell will I have my body repatriated to? And who can fly there in time? And who’s gonna get the bubbles in? Maybe you can all bring your own bottle and glass. Now THAT’S more like it. A BYO Cremation.

First person you’ll call in the afterlife?
Mae West.

One person you’ll want sent downstairs?
Despite not believing in the upstairs/downstairs divide, or even the afterlife, I reckon that anyone who should be in the cellar will already be. Of course, that might include me, and Ms West, so if I can send anyone upstairs, I’d do that instead.

The epitaph on your tombstone will read:
“Now, which shoes go with this whole death thing…?”
posted by Nomes @ Friday, December 22, 2006  
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